none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize