Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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