And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
