what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
