She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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