i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
