Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
