Pappa wants mamma naked
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
So. Much. Porn.
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