It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Your penis caused this!
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
