I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
