Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
