Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize