So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
