Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
