he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Randomize
