I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
