It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
