I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize