Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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