hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
