i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
