don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
