Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
