Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I came so hard my ears popped.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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