and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
You're completely useless in the revolution.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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