Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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