I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize