you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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