Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
