i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
