there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
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