Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
She announced her abortion via fbk
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
