I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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