what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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