I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
