i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
