found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
