Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
