Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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