we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
