i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
