If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
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