Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Randomize