Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
