oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
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