You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Who put my cat in the fridge?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
