he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize