I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
