420 ftw
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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