...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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