there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
