At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
