I wish I could punch you in the face.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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