I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
