i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
