All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
