and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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